Thursday, July 12, 2012

A Dinner Party for Literary Characters

I know I have a thing about Norman Rockwell

Someone asked me the other day who I’d invite to a dinner party for literary characters. And this is what I said…

It’s dinner time! Since I can’t cook, I’d have to get someone to make the meal. And who better than Swelter the drunken, bullying chef from Gormenghast?
By the time he’s finished a barrel of Malmsey in the kitchen, his battered minions may have got around to producing a cauldron of gruel and perhaps an under-cooked swan. With any luck.




Swelter the Cook


Never mind! Because my two main guests will solve any deficiencies in the cuisine: Celia and Marco, the world’s most amazing magicians from the fantastic book, The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern. The half raw meat will instantly transform into the most tender of tantalizing morsels, and the soup will become a velvety heart-warming broth that will act as an aphrodisiac and have the guests panting for more. 
The magicians will also keep the temperature in the room amenable for everyone with sparkling iridescent snowflakes for brooding Vampire Lestat from TheVampire Chronicles and a balmy summer breeze for MacKayla Lane (who’ll be admiring the rainbow colored table cloth and pink plates). Kyra from Phillip Pullman’s His Dark Materials will compare fighting techniques with MacKayla, and when Lestat becomes too bothersome, the two feisty girls will just have to keep him under control. In the meantime, Kyra Silvertongue’s daemon Pan will entertain my own daemon (Oliver the Otter - didn't you know that?).
Of course if Lestat’s charm turns somewhat blood-red and his eyes become hooded, then Sam Barrowdale, one of the main characters from my novel, Perfect Score, will roll up his sleeves and place himself squarely between the vampire and the girls. Once he’s got his thoughts and tongue in order, he’ll have some wonderful words of advice to dish out to Lestat about his appalling behavior. In fact, Sam will be ready to take the vampire on himself so be prepared for some action.
On the other side of the table I’ll sit the main character from my new novel Hewhay Hall, firefighter and unsung hero, Jude Elliot. When he can get a word in edgeways he’ll tell us what was on demon Slater’s menu while he was a guest at Hewhay Hall (not for the squeamish) and whether it compares favorably with Chef Swelter’s cuisine.
Finally Richard the Lionheart will head the table. Why? Simply because he’ll be such a decorative addition. In any case, he’ll keep Sam too occupied to take on Lestat because Sam’s eyes will be out on stalks! 
Richard the Lionheart - added for his decorative appeal
Who would you invite?


13 comments:

  1. This is such a clever idea. I'd think I'd bring Richard as well :)

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    1. So you and Sam can battle over him LOL

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  2. Oscar Wilde most definitely!

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  3. I'd bring half the cast of characters from McCaffrey's Dragonrider series.

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  4. very interesting clever post!!

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    1. Oh yes, Oscar Wilde, Cat. Coo, Diane, it's getting a bit crowded. Thanks Lynn :-)

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  5. Ooh, I like this game. But it takes some balancing with my liking for the robust alpha male type. I wouldn't want the dining room wrecked because someone too exception to the way someone else was looking at him.

    Alexander and Hephaistion from The Persian Boy are a must. I'd invite Francis Crawford of Lymond as well so he and Alexander would have intellectual equals and I'd just hope the two egos didn't reach critical mass. I think Hephaistion might get on well with Aragorn. I'd invite Stephen Maturin and seat him close to my own character William Saunders so they could chat about 'Limbs I have removed' and Saunders could try out his bizarre theories about albatross breeding on someone who is interested but knows as little as he does. Marcus Aquila from The Eagle of the Ninth [the book, not that parody movie] would love to meet Alexander, I'm sure, and I'd seat him close to Ataia, war leader of the 4th century BC Scythians so they could argue about moving cavalry in open country and just how thick does a breastplate have to be to deflect an arrow? Oh and Samkin Alyward from The White Company would have something to say on that subject, too.

    Nine - who else? muscle or brain? Oh let's have Tyrion Lannister to show the pretty boys how it's done.

    That's ten guests and to help me in the kitchen I'll have Bagoas and my own character Charlie Shaw [whose boyfriend bought him a cordon blue cooking course one Christmas] because I think we'd have fun too.

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    1. I forgot Francis Crawford (oh! how could I? - of course he'll have to come). Limbs I have removed should go well with underdone swan - or maybe even an albatross? And if Charlie's going, then Sam has to be there too. What a party! Thanks Elin

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  6. Errrmm... I think your dinner party sounds a little too lively for my delicate digestion. I'd probably go for a quiet night in with Heathcliffe! I've given you a booker award on my blog if you'd like to pop over and collect it :-)

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    1. Your digestion will be haywire by the time Heathcliffe's finished with you, Ros! Oooh...an award. Yummy!

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  7. I'm with Catherine on this. I'd want Oscar Wilde at my fantasy dinner. :-D

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