Thursday, July 12, 2012

A Dinner Party for Literary Characters

I know I have a thing about Norman Rockwell

Someone asked me the other day who I’d invite to a dinner party for literary characters. And this is what I said…

It’s dinner time! Since I can’t cook, I’d have to get someone to make the meal. And who better than Swelter the drunken, bullying chef from Gormenghast?
By the time he’s finished a barrel of Malmsey in the kitchen, his battered minions may have got around to producing a cauldron of gruel and perhaps an under-cooked swan. With any luck.

Swelter the Cook

Never mind! Because my two main guests will solve any deficiencies in the cuisine: Celia and Marco, the world’s most amazing magicians from the fantastic book, The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern. The half raw meat will instantly transform into the most tender of tantalizing morsels, and the soup will become a velvety heart-warming broth that will act as an aphrodisiac and have the guests panting for more. 
The magicians will also keep the temperature in the room amenable for everyone with sparkling iridescent snowflakes for brooding Vampire Lestat from TheVampire Chronicles and a balmy summer breeze for MacKayla Lane (who’ll be admiring the rainbow colored table cloth and pink plates). Kyra from Phillip Pullman’s His Dark Materials will compare fighting techniques with MacKayla, and when Lestat becomes too bothersome, the two feisty girls will just have to keep him under control. In the meantime, Kyra Silvertongue’s daemon Pan will entertain my own daemon (Oliver the Otter - didn't you know that?).
Of course if Lestat’s charm turns somewhat blood-red and his eyes become hooded, then Sam Barrowdale, one of the main characters from my novel, Perfect Score, will roll up his sleeves and place himself squarely between the vampire and the girls. Once he’s got his thoughts and tongue in order, he’ll have some wonderful words of advice to dish out to Lestat about his appalling behavior. In fact, Sam will be ready to take the vampire on himself so be prepared for some action.
On the other side of the table I’ll sit the main character from my new novel Hewhay Hall, firefighter and unsung hero, Jude Elliot. When he can get a word in edgeways he’ll tell us what was on demon Slater’s menu while he was a guest at Hewhay Hall (not for the squeamish) and whether it compares favorably with Chef Swelter’s cuisine.
Finally Richard the Lionheart will head the table. Why? Simply because he’ll be such a decorative addition. In any case, he’ll keep Sam too occupied to take on Lestat because Sam’s eyes will be out on stalks! 
Richard the Lionheart - added for his decorative appeal
Who would you invite?