Saturday, March 10, 2012

Second Campaigner Challenge

Rachael Harrie is incredibly imaginative. She's released her prompts for the Second Challenge. You can check them all out here.

I'm going to do her first one because I'm lousy at writing pitches (trauma, trauma) and even worse at poetry. So, here we go: 

Prompt 1: Two people are sitting together under the remains of a concrete bridge. Their backs are against a rusted bridge support. One person’s leg is cut. The other person has wet hair.

And, since I'm a big girl (ahem), I can take your critiques, just be fair and honest...and polite...

Sparks crackled and a tang of ozone still hung in the air when the two children staggered under Hungerford Bridge.
“We did it.” The girl, breathless, pointed across the river. “Look, the London Eye hasn't been built yet.”
The boy leaned forward, his eyes sparkling. “A Triumph Herald! Haven’t seen one of them since I was…”
“…ten years old,” she finished. “Just look at your little shorty pants. Sorry about the scraped knee, is it painful? I didn’t plan to land us by the Thames with my head in the river.”
The boy sniggered. “Look at you with your hair in plaits.” He picked at his sore leg and let out a sigh. “Five minutes ago I was spread-eagled across the hood of a cop car. They’d have locked me away for good this time after they found the cocaine.”
“And I was staring down the barrel of my pimp’s shotgun. Shit.”
The boy shook his head. “Tell me again, how did you bring us back?”
“I just repeated what I’d heard in my dream. Take us back to 1980. That’s all. Listen, kiddo. Let’s go find Mam and start over. We’ll study this time and behave.”
“Second chance,” he agreed, holding out his hand.
As they disappeared in the gloom, curls of cold air misted out from under the bridge.
“Second chance,” mimicked a cracked voice.
A small mad laugh responded. “The bitch thinks it was her who brought them back in time.”
 “This time round I suggest you prepare the boy to be a psychopath – animal torture is a good way to start. And I’ll show the girl how to steal babies.”
“You know? You’re just the best demon.”



  1. I loved this, what a great ending :-)

  2. I love your time travel take on the prompt! :)

  3. Wonderful job! Love the twist at the end.

  4. Now THAT was chilling. Nice one! :)

  5. Oh my! That was creepy...What happens next?! Write the whole book already!!!

  6. That. Was. Great! I agree with RaeAnn. Truly. Write the book. I loved it!

  7. Thank you everyone! Actually I'd had a bit of a gloomy week - so it was reflected. might make a good longer story, you're right. Thank you for commenting, I do so appreciate it.

  8. I agree that this is very chilling and creepy and I would love to know the whole story.

  9. Thanks careful what you wish for LOL!!

  10. Aloha Sue,

    Thanks for the follow, am doing the same (and thanks again for your help with Rach's Challenge :)

  11. Oh! Nice twist at the end. Wonderfully written.


Don't be anonymous - it's not worthwhile. Anonymous comments go straight into the spam box. Sorry.